Updated: Nov 13
In the late summer of 2008, I was asked to talk about my experience with Prostate cancer both at North York General Hospital and at Sunnybrook Hospital's' Edmond Odette Cancer Centre's a luncheon for care workers to thank them for their kindness during my pre and post care for Prostate surgery performed Feb 22, 2008.
To wrap up a 15 minute thank you, I took 5 minutes to deliver my rendition of what the signs are that someone might be having a little trouble with their Prostate.... all 10 of them...
The list has been revised over the years to the one before you today, Nov 11, 2023
# 10 - You've actually fallen asleep standing over the toilet bowl, forearms against the wall, head nestled on your arms... waiting... to urinate.... waiting....
#9 - Naturally the families complaining AGAIN about the urine stains on the floor around the toilet bowl, down the hall... and this is when you YELL: "That's why GOD invented socks"
#8 - During dinner at the restaurant, your date, staring lovingly into your eyes while twirling her hair, is drinking her last drop of Red wine and says; "I'm going to the ladies room, why don't you get the check, and let's go back to my place.... and this is when you stop her and whisper: " you know, it's never a good time to talk about... Erectile Dysfunction.
#7 - After your digital rectal exam, you see your Urologist standing over in the corner taking a long whiff of their finger saying: "Mmmmmmmmm, don't ya just LOVE the smell of Money!"
#6 - Post surgery - out shopping you ask the question, "do these mustard coloured shoes match my catheter bag"
#5 - Now assigned 7 weeks of "follow up radiation treatment" nearing the end of treatment it feels like its TEA Time cuz my penis is whistling and steam is coming out the end of it.
#4 - Pissing yourself laughing doesn't necessarily mean you heard a great joke. Sneezing, Coughing, Bending over, Stand up, yes, welcome to the wonderful world of bladder leakage.
#3 - Women ask.... "hey, what's in the package?" You reply: "DEPENDS"
#2 - I came up with this tag line for Prostate Cancer... "Early Detection Promotes Long Term Erection".... "they said, well... that's not exactly true... so we can't buy it - use it
"Early Detection Promotes Long Term Erection"
#1 - CIALIS... side effects "MIGHT" cause erections lasting longer than 4 hours...
yes..... 4 hours
Get your annual prostate check up...
and yes, have your licensed Medical pro perform this exam.
From me, Dave Archer... to you.